Monthly Archives: March 2020

One Week More

Over the course of 24 hours, my surgery was on and off and on again. In the end, I was one of only 6 surgeries that day: 6 surgeries deemed essential and too important to postpone. As glad as I am that the second surgery is now over, I’m still not exactly sure how I feel about my surgery being so essential, I couldn’t be postponed. But moving on, security was tight.  I was scanned going in and scanned sitting and then scanned again. Francis wasn’t allowed to go back with me although he got scanned too. It was all a bit of a blur because I’d taken a pre-surgery happy pill so as not to stress over my stupidfuckingbreastcancer surgery do-over. When my surgeon came in to the room to talk about the labs that had been updated so now I have three bad spots instead of just one, the blur became an unpleasant blur. Was I supposed to change my mind about the surgery?  Should I say  “MASTECTOMY ME!!”  So many whirling thoughts that concluded with me thinking, I’d rather have a third surgery than make any more decisions just then.

Ready to go.

Afterwards, Francis took me home and then I collapsed on the sofa with Frankie.

Frankie on Duty

The next day, much sooner than I expected, my surgeon called to tell me I had clear margins which was and is awesome. So now my life is freed up to focus on the same things as everyone else in the world: the Pandemic and the end of life as we’ve known it.

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Filed under Monday, stupidfuckingcancer

Its a Brave New Social Distancing World

On Wednesday, March 11, the World Health Organization declared Corvid-19 to be a pandemic. By March 13th, schools in Seattle and the rest of King county were closed along with the public libraries and public places like the Seattle Parks and Recreation Centers, including Mt Baker Rowing and Sailing Center. But people were still going out to eat and there were even groups focusing on eating at small ethnic restaurants (like the Asian places in the International district) to support them through this drastic decline in business.

Three days later, all schools in Washington state are closed until the end of April, you can’t gather in a group of more than 50 people (and you can’t have a group of less than 50 unless you can guarantee keeping everyone 6 ft apart), teleworking is everywhere, museums are closed, restaurants are closed or can only do take-out or delivery, pubs are closed, movie theaters are closed, retail establishments are either closed or must limit the number of people in the store at one time to maintain six feet between shoppers. Seniors are encouraged to simply stay home and self-quarantine. Everyone else is encouraged to go out only if absolutely necessary. And if you do go out, remember to stay 6 feet apart and WASH YOUR HANDS.

The goal of the closures is to slow the spread of the corona virus which has been dancing around the world with ever increasing positive test results and an increasing death toll since late December, 2019.  It first jumped from animals to humans in Wuhan, China but really it could have been anywhere.  More than one scientist has warned of possible pandemics arising from all the melting permafrost, viruses from hundreds of thousands of years ago.  But corona virus, or Corvid-19 to use the formal name, is now all around the world with new cases decreasing in China and the rest of Asia but rapidly increasing in Europe and the United States. In Italy, it is especially tragic because the virus is so much harder on the elderly and Italy has a large aged population.  27,980 people have been tested in Italy and found to have the disease. In Iran, things are also believed to be very hard but because information isn’t really being shared, no one knows for sure. But it has been said that mass graves in Iran can be seen from outer space. Everywhere in the world, people are being tested for exposure and restrictions imposed in hopes of slowing the spread. As of this post, there are 181,975 confirmed cases, 7,144 deaths and 78,996 who have recovered.

Well, except in the United States where restrictions are a brand new thing from the last few days and where we have hardly tested anyone because you know, if you test people and the number of victims goes up, then people might worry and think the government was doing a crappy job. So at this point, the United States has tested less than 10,000 people.  By contrast, South Korea has tested over 200,000 people.   The low numbers of confirmed cases are believed to be the reason many Americans think this pandemic is a “so-called” pandemic — bull shit designed by a conspiracy of Democrats and the Deep State and whomever who want to thwart the reelection of the Great Leader.  Those Americans who believe this is a “so-called” pandemic keep going to bars and night clubs and restaurants and weddings and not washing their hands and mocking all the people in their houses with a months supply of prescriptions and lots of toilet paper. Of course, that group of Americans are likely not paying attention to the news out of South Korea that many people (mostly in their teens and twenties) have the virus without symptoms while seniors and those with compromised health can get the virus and be dead in hours.

I’m figuring in another 3 days, basically when I’m recovered from my surgery tomorrow, we may be closer to knowing which group is right.

 

 

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Filed under Pandemic

I can’t think of a title for this post

I’m trying really hard to start writing “stuff” again and to post often. So far, I am failing. All manner of interesting events in my life and in the world and I am just. . . silent.

Do I start with “I have a breast cancer again and the first surgery didn’t get clean margins so I go back on Tuesday for a second try.”?

Or do I start with “Theres a global pandemic and Seattle is the epicenter for the United States so I’m teleworking for like 6 weeks and J is home and out of school and Z and Y will be attending college on line, oh but Y is laid off from his job because the rec center is closed because PANDEMIC but Francis will be getting exposed every day bravely going out to make sure people are fed.”?

I don’t know.

This afternoon, I had an appointment with the radiation oncologist and it so reminded me why I absolutely abhor multiple choice tests.  They gave me this iPad with a quiz to fill out to estimate my mental health and stress levels.  Its the same one from 6-8 weeks ago when this stupidfuckingbreastcancer silliness started.

So the first question is asking do I feel stressed or some such thing.  What balderdash!  I have a stupidfucking breast cancer AGAIN, the financial markets are crashing and Seattle is ground zero for a pandemic in the United States–if I’m not stressed, then I must be DEAD.  But seriously, how do I rate my stress?  When the cancer boat launched again, there was no pandemic.  Is it fair to compare my stress levels today with the pandemic added in to my stress level from 5 or 6 or 7 weeks ago when this started or should I try to separate the two?  Is my current stress level now a 5? a 6? an 8?  Why are you even asking me if a referral to a support group would help when I’m sitting under a sign that says all support groups are cancelled because PANDEMIC?

Maybe I should just go to bed because Tomorrow Is Another Day.

Good night.

 

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Filed under Friday